Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Complaints Department

All my parent did was complain. Complained about our home, about friends, about the running of the country. It amazes me how someone who had little money seemed to be an expert in the economy.

Actually it was more a case of wanting more money to be given over and even if that was the case my parent would have complained that it wasn't enough.

Still I got away from that influence, when anyone asks how I am I say 'I can't complain.'

I could, I just see no reason to.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Always Wrong? No I'm Not

I was somehow always wrong about everything.

Even when I was right I was wrong.

My family it seemed were hovering like vultures waiting for me to say something so they could say I was wrong.

Then they wondered why I didn't like talking to them.

When I was growing up I would comment on things I had observed. I commented on how most taxis didn't signal a right turn at a certain T junction only to be told that they do signal.

I stated I would like to take a trip on the QE2 and go first class only to be told they don't have first class so I'm wrong even though I had researched the ship out of interest and they hadn't researched it at all.

The list goes on and on.

When I asked how would they know that things were not as I said they were I was told they just wouldn't do it that way. I had studied or observed the things I was commenting on, they hadn't but somehow I was wrong. According to them 'they just wouldn't' and so it was according to them so I in turn started to seriously doubt myself even though in most cases I was right. This doubt caused me no end of problems because I had no faith in my own judgement even though I was right.

And I am right.

The taxis usually didn't signal the right, the QE2 did have forst class, I was usually right and my family was usually wrong.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

When ever I showed a little initiative it was always tramped all over and my parent would attempt to hijack it for their own benefit.

In my family when we hit teenage hood we were responsible for our own ironing. I wanted to make my ironing easier so I asked my parent to hang my school shirts on hangers when they were hung out to dry after being washed. My parent screamed out that if I wanted them hung like that I could do it myself.

Fair enough, so I hung up my own shirts. Next thing I know my parent and my sibling notice that it's easier to put clothes away if they are already hung on hangers and demand I hang their clothes out on hangers as well. My response was the same as what I received when I first asked, although without the screaming so my parent counters with a self serving statement on how it's my responsibility as I wanted my shirts hung up as well as making out I was trying to get out of my fair share of work by not ensuring I did not have to do so much ironing on my shirts followed by a few other weird comments.

My parent said to me that if I couldn't do this one little thing for them don't expect me them to do anything for me again and just yelled down any counter from me pointing out that I now had extra time now that my ironing was now an easier less time consuming task.

I actually had no problem with the idea of hanging all our clothes on hangers all the time, I just didn't want to be landed with the job all the time, I didn't come up with the hangers idea to make everybody else's life easier and have myself landed with more work but my parent tried to twist it around and tried to make out I was selfish when I objected to being saddled with the additional work. Also the belief my parent had that the time I saved on my ironing was there for my parents benefit to get additional work done for them annoyed me as well as the insinuation that I was trying to avoid my share of the work.

"Don't expect me to make your dinner then if you don't want to contribute to this family" screamed my parent in a self righteous tone of voice. "OK." said I and went to my room.

It was my turn to peel the potatoes and set the plates and my parent came to me to demand I do this task. I asked if I was getting any dinner and was told no so I said no, if I can't expect dinner then don't expect my help.

And the yelling continued.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Sorry for the lack of posting, we have received several stories and have had to determine which fall into the the Life Concepts format

I grew up in a nudist family, always naked when we were able to be, to doubt nudity was to doubt the gods.

When I hit my teens I started to get erections at the drop of a hat which is looked down upon in the nudist way of life of which I was apparently a dedicated member of.

I was told all my life that I love this great way of life. Told, not asked.

Every time I got the hint of an erection comment was made. I was made to feel bad about it despite the fact i couldn't help it. I had an erection, the scourge of the nudist world. Shame on me!!

We would be sitting somewhere when the dreaded erection came on and all and sundry would comment, friends, family and strangers. I resented the comments at my expense and resented that people I did not know where adding their comments to the approval of all those around me. I didn't know these people, who the hell were they to be watching me so closely and commenting on it?!

If I objected I was supposedly the one in the wrong, my attitude was so wrong in our 'free and easy' lifestyle.

I ended up able to control my erections effectively. And that didn't stop the comments. The insinuation was made, by the same strangers, that I was sneaking off and masturbating and my objections to these comments were met with the usual comments about our 'free and easy' lifestyle and how somehow I was in the wrong.

I actually ended up unable to get an erection for quite sometime and ruining my relations with women until I came to terms with the situation I was placed in and who was responsible.

The strangers for commenting, the so called friends for commenting and my family for commenting and placing me in this situation in the first place.

If it was such a happy, healthy lifestyle why did they have to make fun of me?

Probably because what it all boiled down to was they were all a bunch of sick freaks.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Stop Playing Games

If I was ever evasive or gave stupid answers with the intent to annoy I was told to stop playing games but my parent was more than happy to do the same.

My friends were over asking me to come out but I could not go because I had to have dinner first. I told my friends and they asked when would my dinner be ready as they were happy to wait around for a while. I asked the parent who replied with 'soon'. I asked how long is that and got the response in a more terse voice of 'soon'

I told my friends of the response and they were not surprised having witnessed previous episodes of pathetic, jealous behaviour from my pathetic jealous parent. They asked me to persist with the parent and when I asked again I got the same stupid 'soon' again. Requests to get a direct answer received the same response of 'soon'. I said to the parent that I need to have a direct answer because my friends were stuck out there waiting. It was a mistake to plead to my parents sense of reason because the piece of crap screamed out as loud as possible that if I don't want my friends around I should tell them. They of course heard that and thought I didn't want them around and was trying to get rid of them.

When I saw my friends later on I explained what I said to my parent before the outburst and they realised it was just another outburst from a sad fool of a parent and not me trying to fob them off.

My parent had no friends and was jealous of me having friends so my parent was trying to cause problems.

And to all you people who say I should be grateful to my parent for raising me you can get stuffed! It's more by luck than judgement that I made it to adulthood and before you think of forgiving my parent for any woes previously suffered in life just remember you weren't raised by a selfish piece of garbage who expected the whole world to revolve around them, the whole world do everything for them and everyone around them to pay some form of homage to them all the time. So don't expect me to gloss over bad treatment for your benefit, I had to do this for me, for once I started to see that I count too, as much as anyone else.

I was raised by such a selfish character and could have turned out that way myself quite easily, especially the lack of friends part because I was stupidly treating people in a less than mannerly fashion like my parent having not made the leap that bad treatment drives people away since when you're growing up you tend to gloss over the stupidity of a parent and fall over yourself to excuse it to your own detriment. When I stopped making those excuses I started top see things in life more clearly and low and behold when I sopped treating people badly I actually made some friends.

I don't have many friends as such but at least I have some, if I had of stayed a bitter, jealous, self centred person I wouldn't have any just like my parent.

I broke the cycle.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

More Wonder

My parent wondered why I didn't want to play games with the parent. Simple, it wasn't worth the effort. My first memory of the problems is when my parent wanted to play the game of my choice with me so I chose handball. We started to play when the parent made an incorrect play and I pointed it out. The parent asked in a shrill voice "What do you mean?" and was irritated when I explained the particular rule so I said we won't worry about that rule. Then another rule was missed and another and another with the parent getting more irritated with me when I pointed it out. The parent made some comment on how you are just supposed to hit the ball back and forth which to me even back then when I was 6 seemed pretty lame.

The arguments that always happened just made it no fun to play games with my parent. Whenever I was winning the parent would be irritated and I was in a position where I felt I had to apologise for winning and when I would explained rules or the like I was made to feel I was cheating or rewriting the rules to my benefit.

Much simpler to not play games with the parent and if the parent doesn't like it too bad. I ended up feeling guilty for winning that I stopped winning all the time. That's the effect it had on me. I've overcome it now. It's easy when you stay away from a recognised bad influence.

Monday, July 23, 2007

You Don't Have To Wonder Why

My parent would complain about a lack of initiative on my part when I was growing up, you don't have to wonder why though, whenever initiative or new ideas were put forward it became a millstone around my neck. An example is when I mentioned to the parent that potatoes were more nutritious with the jackets on I was told that if I want them that way I have to prepare them myself when it was my turn to help prepare dinner. Usually we would just peel and wash them, put them onto boil and our part was over but when I came up with the jacket potato idea I was looked at as if I was trying to wiggle out of doing my share, this happened whenever i came up with an idea. With the jacket potatoes I had to brush them down so I was hardly avoiding doing my share, I still had to do something and it ended up that the parent tried to get me to do the potatoes like that all the time, do my share and everyone else's as well based on the fact that I wanted the potatoes like that.

I wasn't suggesting doing something a different way to avoid doing my share nor was I making suggestions to end up with more work. I figured when it was my turn to do the potatoes we would have jacket and if the others wanted them like that they would do it like that when it was their turn to prepare the potatoes otherwise they'd peel them and we would have them the usual way and have some variety between jacket and peeled.

I argued my way out of having to always do the potatoes and therefore everyone else's share of the work but not without having to respond to some weird and self serving arguments from the parent. The next night the parent tried to ignore the fact I won the argument by demanding i do the potatoes and then stating that it had been agreed the previous night and also that jacket potatoes were actually the parents idea, the parent explained all the benefits to me as if I had never said anything in favour of them.

I just ignored the parent, I knew I was in the right and I was not going to cave in regardless of what the parent said or did and my parent knew I was right. Later on the parent tried to make out it was all a misunderstanding but not without an insinuation it was my fault and that I was silly for fighting over something as trivial as potatoes.

It wasn't potatoes we were fighting about, it doesn't matter if something is about potatoes or something major like running a company, it was how my attempts to contribute ideas were always looked upon with suspicion, how my ideas almost always nearly ended up with landing me extra work, how the parent would hijack the idea and make out it was their own idea even to the point of telling me what I needed to do and then when I wised up and just stopped giving ideas I was criticised for a lack of innovation.

When I was asked why I didn't contribute I could have said how I always had to fight the parent to get the idea across but I didn't think the argument we'd have would be worth the effort so I just left the question unanswered.